"In this long-awaited book, Van Derbur, a former Miss America, tells the story of how she was sexually violated by her father from age 5 to 18. She was 53 years old before she was able to speak the words in public: 'I am an incest survivor.' She opened the door for tens of thousands of sexual abuse survivors to also speak the words, many for the first time, within their own families and communities. Van Derbur describes in detail what specific 'work' she did on her successful journey from victim to survivor. Using her story as the scaffolding, she shares knowledge and insights she has gained after talking personally with adult survivors in the 225 cities in which she has spoken. With her extensive research on the long-term impact of trauma, and her belief that prevention is the best weapon for keeping our children safe, Van Derbur urges parents to talk with children, as young as five. Suggesting specific words, she helps set the stage for conversations that can evolve into positive continuous dialogues. Knowing that vulnerable children are targets, she gives unique ways of building children's self-esteem. Van Derbur also gives the hope that a richly satisfying and long-lasting marriage is possible if healing is passionately pursued"--Cover, p. 4.